As I do some further reading of my book, "Women's ways of knowing", I find other themes emerging. One of them is the ability of men and women to listen differently. An example given is how women tend to understand what a baby's cry means and are able to differentiate the "I want my bottle" and the "my diaper is dirty" cries from a distance. According to the book, most men are not as apt in understanding this "baby speak". On the other hand, the book mentions how children tend to listen to dad's voice more than mom's, citing the fear that dad means business as a reason.
The book also states that most women who remain quiet, even when they have an opinion, do so for fear of sounding stupid. One of the collaborators states she feels "deaf and dumb" when listening to others, since she does not feel she can eloquently speak as her friends do. That causes her to remain silent. The idea here is to encourage women to learn more, rather than remain silent for fear of not knowing enough.
I see we are reading the same book..so far are you enjoying the reading? I am, it is hard for me to grasp just because I have never been in that type of situation before, neither has one of my closest loved ones or friends. So it is to me a good read, but sad!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate! I am extremely shy! I remain quiet in class a lot for fear of sounding stupid all the time. I think it is more my nerves that causes me to do that though. I need to gain more confidence when I speak in front of other classmates and professors.
ReplyDeleteI also tend to be fairly quiet in a classroom setting. This might be a fear of sounding dumb, but I also like to listen first before responding so that I am confident that my answers are relevant and a direct relection of my feelings. I feel that online learning allows me to read posts, think about them and then place my responses. I also feel that this allows more meaningful conversations to progress.
ReplyDeleteThe book sounds interesting. I am anxious to hear more.
Julie
I too am fairly quiet among new groups, largely because I like to observe how others interact with one another and get a hold on my surroundings (does anyone know each other, are we all new here, am I the only female in the group, etc.) before "sticking my neck out". But when I read your post I could only think of "Sex in the City" - seriously! You mention one of the collaborators not wanting to speak even among her friends for fear of seeming inarticulate - she needs new friends! Imagine if Samantha didn't feel as though she could share her exploits with the Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda? Or Charlotte couldn't lament about her desire to have a child? If we as women, or humans generally, cannot talk with those people around us or even those closest to us without feeling judged (by ourselves or others) then what do we do? How are ever to get anything put to action, of our chests, or resolved? Yes, women tend to be more thoughtful and mindful of what we say and how we say it but if we remain "in our heads" and continue to over-think we will perpetually miss the boat in every sense. Sometimes just throwing something out there, even with a caveat "just spitballing" or "off the top of my head", can feel so great and really spark something positive and fruitful. We should challenge each other to do this and report back here on how it went!
ReplyDelete-Aimée
I feel sad that I can't just comment something positive to your postings, that are in fact very good. But just even with the title, the content... I can stand those concepts, I am as many of the women in my home country, completely emotionally independent and no men-related superiority can actually quite the voice of 'the woman', 'the mom'.
ReplyDeleteI understand that everything what it is written is truth, but I just can't.
I will still keep commenting though!!
It is truly sad when some people are so intelligent and have so much to contribute, yet they remain silent. On the opposite side of the spectrum, though, there are so many people who say a lot and really do not have anything important to contribute :) Makes me think of all the reality shows and how many of those people are famous for just being ignorant and narrow minded!
ReplyDeleteAimee, Rachael and Claudia,
ReplyDeleteHaving been in the actual classroom with the 3 of you, I really hope you will speak up and tell us your ideas if we have other classes together. You are all very intelligent women that have a lot to share with the class. Your contributions are always positive for learning and it would be a shame if you stayed quiet!
I look forward to learning more with and from you in future classes.