I have to admit I was not very thrilled with the idea of my book. That is one of the reasons why I decided to read it and allow myself outside my comfort zone. Not trying to argue the necessity of women to express themselves, but at times I feel a feminist point of view becomes very narrow, and I thought my book was just that.... a feminist book.
The surprise I had was that the book brings out some ideas that come out of interviews with women (written verbatim), but it is not a "man bashing" book.
Some of the themes that emerge as I read this book are:
- Voice versus silence:
The authors use the metaphor of voice and silence to encourage people to listen to their inner self and give themselves a voice.
They feel women were raised to be silent in society in the past, resulting in many women allowing themselves to be in abusive relationships. If they came from a family where the father was the only one allowed to have a voice, they are more likely to marry a man with a voice, while they remain silent.
- Ordinary yet necessary learning:
A passage of the book states that you can learn from anything, even from "hearing the grass grow and the squirrels' heartbeat".
We have equated learning with a classroom, and many times forgotten how much we can learn from everyday experiences.
Some very interesting points so far in this book. Do you feel that you have an equal voice in your family? Do you feel that everyone in your family has an equal voice regardless of their gender?
I find your initial impression about this book compelling, and admittedly is a notion I too had but I am glad that you've discovered otherwise. I very much see the author's point of Voice vs. Silence. Growing up in the Bible Belt of the South it was not uncommon to see the extremes of the implied silence. Luckily, I grew up in a family of outspoken women and strong but reasonable men, men who were just as happy to have a conversation with their wives, sisters, and daughters, as they were to open a door, mow the lawn, or cook dinner. My family, undoubtedly a rarity even amongst my friends growing up, was and is surprisingly open-minded about bucking the social norms. My grandmother was in one of the first MSW cohorts at our local university to graduate with women in the class. The photos of her graduation show my grandfather, a former Marine, beaming with pride, almost happier than my grandmother! I still have friends in the South who, beyond their knowledge at the time, married men who insist on silence in one way or another. I'm in my 30's and think that we, as a sex, should have learned from watching the women in our lives, communities, etc. suffer the Silence, but some of us, and you point out Andrea, have yet to break the chain. But when a woman does find her voice... it's pretty powerful!
ReplyDeleteBecause I lost my father at an early age I grew up thinking women were incredibly powerful as a result of watching my mother raise two children without a man. My mom never entered into a relationship after my father died.
ReplyDeleteI believe a woman can do or be anything. My mom, in her 50's, changed careers and ran a half marathon. She is amazing!!!
I've always been a strong, independent minded woman. I am for the first time in my life a "dependent" on the man I am with. Despite my entire upbringing, I choose to be silent because I do not have an income that puts me on a level playing field. It is my own outlook on the situation that silences me because it is his money that pays the bills and keeps a roof over our head.
It's a very interesting place to be after a life of independence.